Endure

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:1 NLT)

The word endure is defined as to “suffer (something painful or difficult) patiently”.

Many of us have been enduring. Some endure physical hardships, some endure mental hardships, and some endure because they love a challenge (looking at you, marathon runners). If anything is clear, it is the COVID-19 lockdowns and mandates have caused much difficulty for many people, myself included. I personally have been dealing with mental struggles, even before the lockdowns began 19 months ago. Although I would not say I have endured. Suffered yes, but there was nothing patient about my suffering.

In the middle of last year I was diagnosed with moderate major depression and OCD anxiety. On one hand this was a blessing because I finally knew why I felt the way I did. On the other, I felt broken. Instead of seeking the treatment that I needed, I isolated myself. I quit taking phone calls and ignored texts. I put on a fake smile, the mask, as I have come to call it. This complicated things within my marriage and my ministry because I did not feel genuine. I felt like a fake version of myself, a phony. How could I help others if I was not willing to be helped? I couldn’t. So I made the decision to step away from vocational ministry.

I thought this would give me a break and an opportunity to hit the reset button on my mental state, but all it did was push me further into the darkness. Instead of taking the time to heal, I started to tell myself I was a failure, a quitter. Instead of seeking help, I was sitting in hell. A mental hell of self-doubt and self-loathing. I began to question my faith. Why is God allowing me to suffer? Why is God not answering my prayers? Where are you God?!

Looking back at those moments of emptiness and despair, it’s clear He was with me through it all. God had answered my prayers in the form of doctors and therapists that had gifts of helping people through these times, I had simply refused the help. Just as a person with a broken leg should seek medical attention immediately, so it is with a broken mind. We would not lay in bed praying for a miraculous healing of a broken bone, we should not lay around praying for the same in the case of our mental state. This is not to downplay the importance of prayer. It is my firm belief that it is prayer that has given me the strength to seek help. I am simply saying that God answers prayers through a variety of ways and often through others. In this case those others are doctors.

“Give thanks to him who led his people through the wilderness. His faithful love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:16 NLT)

I feel like I am being led out of the wilderness of my own mind. I am learning what true faith looks like. I am learning what it means to truly surrender to Christ, because if I am honest, I did not want to write this. I did not want to open up about my struggle. Fear and pride have blinded me to the joys that come with following Christ. But I can no longer ignore God or His call.

Being humbled is rarely a fun experience. It causes us to take an honest look at ourselves. And sometimes we don’t like what we see! Although the humbling experience can be brutal, it is always beneficial. Since opening up about my mental struggles, I have found that there are many others that share my same feelings. So many of us are hurting and living with deep mental pain. To those who have shared your struggles, I continue to pray for you, for healing. For those who are living in a private hell of mental anguish, I would say to seek the help you need. It is amazing how better you will feel by simply being open and honest with yourself and with others. You don’t have to continue to live with this burden alone.

“He saved us from our enemies. His faithful love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:24 NLT)

The bible is clear we have a real enemy, not of flesh and blood but of “cosmic powers over this present darkness,” (Ephesians 6:12 ESV). Darkness is exactly how I would describe the place I have been for so long. In those dark times it is important that we hold, not onto our feelings, but to God’s truth. “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105 NLT) Hold fast to God’s word, it is the light that will lead you out of the darkness.

“This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.” (1 John 1:5 ESV).

Seek help, seek God, seek the light.

Blinded by the Light

“Then Jesus told them, “I entered this world to render judgment-to give sight to the blind and to show those who think they see that they are blind.” John 9:39 NLT

In chapter 9 of the book of John, Jesus heals a man blind from birth. Most of us would acknowledge this as nothing short of a miracle! The Pharisees on the other hand could not acknowledge Jesus because of their own spiritual blindness. They reasoned that since it was the sabbath when Jesus performed this miracle it could not have been from God, because God doesn’t work on the sabbath and forbids anyone else from doing so under penalty of the law given by Moses. Their legalistic view of God and His commands made them miss a miracle!

I tend to read verses like this in disbelief. How could they see Jesus perform such miracles and still not believe!? They could point out no sin, no action, no word spoken, no ill intention in Christ that would warrant a rebuke, much less the death penalty. And yet, they still could not see Him. They were blinded by legalism, pride, and envy.

In the previous chapter, Jesus is presented with a woman caught in the act of adultery. The Pharisees ask Jesus what they should do, since the law of Moses demands she be stoned to death for her infidelity. Jesus reply is simple, “Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” (John 8:7). Knowing deep down they had all sinned, they slowly crept away.

As I study the scriptures, I tend to put myself in the position of the one Christ is defending. The woman caught in adultery, the blind beggar, or one of His many disciples mentioned during Jesus earthly ministry. The truth is however, I’m closer to the Pharisees. Too often I stand, rock in hand, ready to fling my judgment on whoever doesn’t measure up to God’s standard. Poised ready to attack all who I deem unworthy to bear the title Christian, simply because they are not following my own code of Christianity. We must be careful that the code we follow is from Christ, not ourselves.

We are all too quick to throw out spiritual rocks at our neighbors, “thou shalt nots” instead of “Christ died for all”. We are called to show the love of Christ, to bring those who are lost in darkness into the light. We are called to be like Christ, to love. We are not called to be legal experts but blind beggars clinging to Christ for our sight, at which when given we proclaim, “I was blind, and now I see!” (John 9:25).

All things?

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV

 

In this verse, Paul is talking about food offered to idols. Paul was trying to express our freedom in Christ and the fact that we are no longer bound by the law. People were worried about sinning by eating food from the market that had been offered to idols. Paul was basically saying that it’s not the food we eat that could cause sin but the intent behind it. As I look at my own life, it’s clear that I have areas that are not glorifying God.

I have been a “gamer” for most of my life. One of my earliest memories is receiving a Nintendo Entertainment system. It was awesome. It came with Mario, Duck Hunt, and the Olympic track game. It even had the pad you run on! I was hooked. Fast forward 30 years and video games are still a huge part of my life. While I am not saying that playing video games is necessarily bad, I am asking, “Is this glorifying God?”  It’s a question that I believe God has placed in my heart for a reason. It’s a question that has recently rocked the way I am looking at a lot of the things in my life. Maybe a more important question is have I replaced my joy from God with video games? Am I seeking out something from earthly means that can only come from God? If that’s the case, then it is sin.

For the month of February, I am going to fast or abstain from playing video games with the goal of putting the controller down for good. My challenge to you is to take a look at your life and see if there is any area that could be used to bring glory to the Father. It may not even be something inherently  bad, Paul was talking about eating meat, but something that is distracting you from God. I pray that as we fast from these distractions we would gain a closer relationship with Jesus.

Misfire

Photo by Maria Pop on Pexels.com

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 ESV

While in boot camp, I was issued a M-16A2 service rifle. Our drill instructors stressed the importance of cleaning and maintaining our rifles. If a weapon was in poor condition, dirty and misused, it could misfire. It may lead to inaccuracy while shooting or even explode in our hands. This fear caused us to carefully study and clean our weapons with great care.

The same can be said about the word of God. In the book of Hebrews and Ephesians, the bible compares itself to a sword. A sword, like any weapon not handled properly, can cause great harm.  If we are not careful in how we handle the scriptures, it can be detrimental. It is important for Christians to truly study the bible instead of simply picking and choosing select verses. The context is just as important as the verse itself when we present it to others. I have seen people, well-intentioned people I’m sure, use the book of Leviticus in particular as a weapon against others. We see in Luke 4, Satan using scripture against Jesus. Twice the bible quotes the devil in using the word of God to try to subvert God’s plan for human redemption (Luke 4:10-11). If we are not diligent in our study of the bible we may fall victim to those who twist the word of God much like Satan in the book of Luke, or worse yet, misuse the scriptures ourselves.

The M-16’s that are issued in boot camp, are weapons that require great care and careful use. The bible too is a weapon that requires great care and study in order to be used properly. I highly recommend picking a book of the bible and reading it through. This will give you a better understanding of the verses and also some insight as to who and why the book was written. It may also help to use a study bible to gain a better understanding of the time and place the book was written.

Ultimately, the whole bible is meant to reveal God to us and to give instruction in how a true Christian should live. It’s easy to get caught up in the Old Testament laws and think the bible is just a book of “do this, not that,” but through study and much prayer we see what the true message is: Love.

Paul sums it up nicely for us in the book of Romans.

“Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” Romans 13:8-10 ESV.

Before we start throwing “scripture bombs” at our neighbors, we must take a moment and ask ourselves, “Is this love?” Are you bringing scripture to those around you out of love or are you simply trying to attack? Are you trying to point others to Jesus or are you just trying to prove a point?

We are called to love, anything short of this is a misfire of God’s word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First World Problems

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. (Genesis 1:3 ESV)

I just started a bible reading plan that puts the bible in chronological order. One of the things that immediately stood out to me was how verbal God was in Genesis 1 when He was creating the world. He could have just snapped His fingers, clapped His hands, or did a little head nod and POOF! the world is here. But He chose to speak the world into existence. I counted fifteen times where the bible states, “God said,” while He was creating the universe. God spoke and created the world. God spoke and created the sea and land. God spoke and created the creatures of the sea and air. The only thing that God did not speak into existence is man. The bible says that, “the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.” (Gen. 2:7) God almighty breathed life into us. We were created different from the rest of the universe. We were created with purpose, for a purpose. Everything else was created for us, but we were created for God. We were created to know and love God through Christ Jesus.

Our God is a verbal God.

Even after man had sinned against God, He called out to them. Genesis 3:9 says, “But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” God called out to Adam and Eve because they were hiding from Him. They hid because they were afraid. God still calls us today and many of us are hiding. We are hiding from God because we are afraid. Afraid that God will punish us. Afraid that God will reject us because of the things we have done. Afraid because we know that He will do some very radical changes in our lives. In reality, it’s impossible to hide from God. Just like He found Adam and Eve, He will find us. At that point when we are in the presence of God, we have a decision to make, will we submit to His will, confessing our sin and turning to Him for help. Or will we continue to run and try to hide. After many years of running and trying to hide myself, I can tell you that what God wants to do in your life is love you. God is love (1 John 4:8) and God wants to show you what love truly looks like.

Our God is a verbal God and He is calling you today. He calls to us through Jesus Christ and through His word. I once heard someone say that if you want to hear the voice of God, read the bible out loud. I challenge you to start your own bible reading plan. Get to know the God of the universe, God the creator, God the Father. I pray that God would call out to you as He did Adam and Eve and you would answer.